It’s been a few days since I’ve taken the time to write. Like everyone else, I’ve been busy with work and other things just going on in life. It’s hard sometimes trying to balance it all. I’m not complaining, I’m just stating the obvious. When I’ve had the time, I try to handwrite in my personal journal. Nothing crazy, just a short 10-15 mins to write my thoughts down and what I’m thinking. Normally I keep it to myself and don’t share publicly, but I was stricken to write the other day about how privileged I am to live the life that I have. It truly is a blessing. And I feel compelled to share it. Is it perfect? No. But have I learned to be content and joyful with it? Yes. It’s a blessing that only comes from my Lord.

Last week was busy and I had the weekend off too. We had some family friends over the house on Sunday after church. The kids were exceptionally loud, and it was chaotic in the living room. The old me would have been the old grumpy man (like Clint Eastwood from Gran Turino grumpy) that would have been upset at all the noise. I probably would have yelled and screamed at the kids and told them to be quiet. But let me tell you how God is in the business of changing hearts…. Instead, I smiled and almost cried. The fact that my home is a place of comfort for my kids, and other children and other families makes me happy. My heart is honestly full. I want people to walk through my front door knowing that they are welcomed and safe. And it’s hard for me to say this coming from a career in the military and law enforcement where I’m always on guard and I always want to be left alone…But to see other people and children feel safe and content in my home makes me happy.

Normally I wouldn’t share my personal journal for everyone to see, but I think this would bring some comfort and some light to someone who’s dealing with things in their life. It’s a privilege to live the life we live. It’s a blessing to be alive. Do I have all the answers? I most certainty do not. I’m human just like the rest of you and struggle with many things. And I know you do too which is why I write because I want you to know that you are not alone and I share your feelings. What I do have is the perspective to share my life’s experiences with others. Below is a what I wrote in my journal on 10/26/2025. There’s lots of spelling errors and my handwriting is trash so bear with me LOL. I just try to jot down what I have written quickly:

Horrible handwriting I know – but again it’s meant for me LOL. It’s so easily to get distracted with life. It’s so easy to focus on the negative things rather than just have gratitude for what your situation is or what you currently have. Our western culture has pushed this narrative on us that we have to be comfortable. That if we’re not comfortable, we must be doing something wrong. Finding joy in tough situations is uncomfortable. Doing something outside of your normal routine is uncomfortable. Comfort will kill and destroy you if you let it run your life and dictate your emotions. And here me out – I’m not saying that we need to give up air conditioning LOL, I’m talking about your wants versus your needs. I’m talking about finding joy even in the hard situations. Still thanking God for your most basic of needs being met even if the world is crumbling around you. I’m talking about being grateful for air that fills your lungs, eyes that see colors in the beauty of the sky at sunset, the smell of good food, -that’s the gratitude I’m talking about. It’s uncomfortable to find comfort even in things you may not truly understand or don’t have an explanation for.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven by a pasture full of horses and cattle and wished I had my own huge ranch to work on (and yes – I know the difficulty of how hard and dedicated you have to be to devote your life to it. I’ve experienced it firsthand and witnessed it too. I’ve been to many ranches and have talked to many ranchers. It’s not something that’s done overnight. But the life is worth it to some people). And there has been times I’ve let my mind wander the point of depression and tears because of what I did not have. I was missing the point. I was not focused on what I had. Now when I drive by these big pastures, I thank God for allowing me to see the beauty in them. I take enjoyment with seeing the beauty behind nature and His creation. I don’t get lost anymore in dreaming too much to a point where it becomes an idol or an obsession. Does that mean we should stop dreaming or wondering? No! Absolutely not. We should all work towards something if we are charged to do it and have a vision and a dream. What I’m simply saying is just don’t ideas, dreams, or visions become your identity to the point of where you are living in the future instead of the present. I’ve found joy in my current job and what I do because it’s important and it’s needed (and sometimes wild and crazily fun). Should that ever change it will because God changed it.

I remember during my time in the Army, I went through some type of training about resilience, and I can’t remember what it was called. But there was a phrase that we used to joke about called “hunt the good stuff.” It’s really a mind game you have to play with yourself to have gratitude in all seasons in your life. It’s very easy to spiral out of control and drive yourself into the ground in a deep dark depressive state. I’ve been there. I’ve tried to cope with it all. But taking the time to not only focus on the good, and thanking God even for the smallest things will impact your perspective. Give it a try and see what happens. I hope you all have a good week and enjoy the season change!